Share Your Story of How Parental Involvement Can Lead to Student Success
Last week’s survey on current college parent experiences and this week’s survey on future college parent expectations both point out a desire by parents to be involved in and supportive of their children’s college education. You are concerned about academics, finances and the health and safety of your children, among many other issues. You are also asked - or in the case of future college parents expect to be asked - for advice and assistance in the areas listed above, as well as increasingly in the area of career planning. We believe that parental involvement, properly channeled, can be extremely empowering to your children as they embark on a journey to and through college. Please share your story of how parental involvement can lead to student success. The level of involvement described can be as simple as a meaningful conversation or as elaborate as your family’s working encourage college and career success. Thank you for sharing your story and please forward to a friend so that more families may benefit from our parent community dialogue.








August 5th, 2007 at 3:19 am
I am a mother sending her first daughter to college this fall. I am having an incredibly difficult time dealing with this emotionally. It will most definitely be a hardship financially, but that is not my major issue.
My daughter is a very good student, top 10% of her class, National Honor Society, etc. This has made her elligible for some scholarships. We will still need to pay for over half of her education. We are by income standards a lower-middle class, upper lower class family. We recently inherited some property which has put us out of the mix for financial aid- She is elligible for loans but no grants. Somehow with loans and grants we will manage to pay for her education. If I need to I will take a second job to help pay for her education.
My daughter is 50% Polish and a mixture of German, Hungarian, French Canadian Indian, Scottish, Irish, etc. I cannot help but to respond to Nellie Wolpoe’s concerns of being treated unfairly. If you live in America and you are not a Native American you are an immigrant There should not be special privileges for any immigrant even those considered a minority. As American citizens we are all enjoying the privileges of a free government. We should all pay taxes and expect to contribute. There are many benefits we all enjoy as American citizens. You could try Puerto Rico or Gremany for your child’s education if you think that might be more financially to your advantage.
There are a lot of loan options available. You should talk to your daughter’s college financial aid office to see what is the best . You might also possibly consider a local banker for advice.
I have more personal issues with letting go. I am very proud of the amazing woman she has become. I am struggling with redefining myself personally as my role as mom is changing. I know I will always be mom. I will always worry and try to be helpful, I am just having a difficult time deciding what my knew role is and who I am now. I have always been a very involved mother. I want to remain involved. I want to be helpful. I don’t want to hover. Any advice?
Patti
June 19th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Parents need to know when to draw the line between helping our kids and living vicariously through them. The purpose of college is to establish independence and allowing our children to fall flat on their face from time to time. Their future career and employment is their problem, not ours. If you don’t let your kids grow up on their own, how do you expect them to face life’s challenges when you’re not around?
Bottom Line: Being involved in your child’s life is a good thing, but stay away from coddling them. Remember, someday you won’t be there to hold their hand.
May 7th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Frustrated? It doesn’t quite describe our situation, so here it is. I got my college education by working full time for the meesly 2.50/hour (yes it was 20+ years ago). It took me almost 10 years to get my associate degree. However - that was my ONLY ticket off the lowest wages and I was happy that I was able to do it. While working for those wages, I lost many of my jobs due to the economic crisis in our manufacturing industry. So, until I got my degree, I never had any health insurance, dental, pension, life insurance…I worked very hard and made my education the number one priority. I continued to work even harder once I got the ‘real’ job as that job didn’t pay overtime, but required ‘getting the job done at any cost’. It did provide the benefits that my prior jobs did not and I was grateful for that. I thought I was doing good. Sometimes working upwards of 100 hours a week, for the same pay. I still thought I was doing good. Then late last year the company I was working for decided to outsource our operations. So, now, I’m back to square one. Not nearly as young and enthusiastic, not nearly as healthy as working all those long hours and dealing with stress has left a toll. Two kids in college. Two sets of college loans. Mortgage. Car payments. Should I go on? I continue to encourage my children and emphasize the importance of education, as that is the only way to keep one self out of poverty, if there is a way today. In my own thoughts, however, I often wander how our family will ever be able to repay those college loans. There is a real good chance that I’m past my prime earning point in life as I’m very close to the ‘magic’ 50. There is a real good chance that my children will either not be able to find jobs right away or that their jobs too will be outsourced as well. So, getting good grades, doing well in college, getting excellent references, working hard will probably not be enough to either find or keep a job in the US in the future. While I don’t see a solution to the problem, each day I feel less confident that I’ve advised my children well by emphasizing education above all else.
Work hard, study hard, save what you can, borrow what you must….then you graduate and then what? Move to India….that’s where the jobs are going. Hmmmm…something here is missing…what is the point of getting a degree if the chances of being gainfully employed are getting slimmer every day? Highly Frustrated in Ohio.
May 1st, 2007 at 9:15 am
My husband retired 6 years ago and had to get a full time job. i work also we have a dughter in her junior year at Mount St. Mary College and we are up to our ears in student loans. We are also paying the loans as she goes along. But my problem like everybody else is we don`t qualify for anything .My husband is German and I am of Puerto Rican decent so my daughter is bi-racial and we still don`t get any help. But as the first generation in her father`s family and mine we will do anything in our power to help her get her master`s. She is doing very good, has made the dean`s list twice. As parent`s we are doing everything we can to afford the tuition,books which is a big joke and all the other expense that come with sending your child to college. And we pay our taxes hard working middle class and we can`t get any help. Now we hear that some colleges and finance office were giving out names of banks to take out loans while they were living the good life. Now how do i find out if me and my husband were victims of this scam. Our loans are with citbank student loans and i did notice my interest rates go up and up. I didn`t know any better i just want to help my daughter get her education.Then you have other people come from different countries and they get all the help and they pay no taxes. It is very stress full. And now she wants her masters that`s another 4 years. Can anybody help me find out if i am being victimize like other hard working middle class parents.
April 30th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
My son is getting ready to graduate this year and plans to attend college. He is, fortunately, in the top ten of his class. This has provided us with scholarships to help off set the cost of the enormous tuition we face. Even with the scholarships, I am very uncertain if we will be able to provide him with four full years of college without going into debt. He is the first in our immediate family that has ever attended a four year college, so we are very pleased but very concerned. My mother is on a fixed income, takes quite a bit of medication and from time to time, needs financial assistance. With this in addition to college, my own retirement (which should be in about 15 years) seems very uncertain. I don’t want to be a burden to my son, but I also want him to be a success. It’s a phenomenal choice for a parent.
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:15 pm
congratulations on a job well done. I don’t care what any college administration wants to tell us - we are parents first and foremost. They need us. My daughter struggled her first year getting extra help and a tutor. She was given the run around by the learning services department and now, finally, has been given a tutor to help her with bio (three weeks before the finals). She has decided not to return next year but, like your son, move home and commute to a community college with the hopes of bringing up her gpa and then being able to transfer. Good luck.
March 19th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
My son has ADD and a learning disability in math. His Freshman year was a disaster. It didn’t have to be. The school had a disability office and a special achievement office just for kids like him. So what went wrong? The university expected him to navigate the complex process of getting help by himself. He never did connect with the special achievement office that year. The second year he came home and commuted to a local community college. His third year he returned. This time I did what I should have done the first time. Before school started I went with him to the disablity office and filled out forms with him. Then we saw his advisor and I sat with him. Then we went to the achievement office to collect forms and set up an intake appointment. A couple of weeks later (still before school started) I took him to the achievement office intake appointment. They talked with him alone and also talked with me alone. This time it worked and my son is doing very well. I logged the time it took to do these appointments and paper work with an educated parent leading the way. IT TOOK SIX HOURS! No wonder he could not do this at the beginning of his freshman year! If he was able to do this he would not have been in need of this help. Parents - If your kid needs you STAY INVOLVED! Save money and heartache. On the other hand, if your kid does NOT need you butt out! One of my sons (this one) needed me a lot. One needed me a little. One doesn’t need me at all.